Pranks, Ghosts, and Dinner dates
by Eliptical
Summary: Takes place five years after Breaking Dawn. Jessica and Mike visit the Cullens for dinner, and afterward Mike's in for a little suprise that includes scaring him silly. Normal Pairings.


**Takes place after Breaking Dawn, about five years later. Sorry it's long, I wouldn't finish it if it was in chapters.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, why would I be writing fanfiction?**

* * *

Mike's POV

_Bella looks up at me through her long, dark lashes, enchanced by the perfect amount of mascera. "Mike" she whispers, leaning her hand against my shoulder. I smile at her, raising one eyebrow as I brush my hand through my awesome spiked hair. "What is it, babe?" I ask her, brushing her hair off of her shoulder. "Mike, I...I love you" she says, blushing as she looks down.  
__I gasp, but I already know it's true. "Bella, baby, I love you too" I coo to her. She smiles up at me, then tilts her head back, raising her lips closer to mine, and-_

"MIKE GET UP THIS INSTANT!" I snap my head off of my pillow, the small puddle of drool sticking to my eye. I groan and roll over to my wife, Jessica's, side of the bed. I close my eyes, remembering that dream of Bella. I dream of her almost every night, and I'm still mad at stupid Cullen - Five years later - for stealing her away from me and leaving me with _Jessica_ Stanley as a wife. Er, Jessica _Newton_ now.

I shrug into a t-shirt before heading downstairs to meet my wife as she cooks breakfast, she scowles at the eggs. "Hey Honey" I greet her halfheartedly.

Her frown deepens, and she leaves the range, a sizzling pan in her hand as she makes her way over to the messy table to dump some eggs and bacon into our son, Mike Jr.'s, plate. She brushes her curler-sheathed hair out of her eyes and flares her nostrils.

"Mike" she nearly spits.

"Yes?" I ask her, cursing to myself quielty when I hear the baby crying upstairs. "First, get the baby. And second, I need to have a little chat with you"

I grimace at the tone of her voice but hurridly race up the stairs to tend to my daughter. If Bella was my wife, I doubt she would yell at me every day.

I wanted the name of my daughter to be Isabelle, but of course Jessica felt the need to have to name our daughter after her great-grandmother; Guenrethen. I mean, how the heck is that even a girl's name? and of course, Jessica said we can't even give her a nickname. Grrr.

Once Guenrethen is fed, changed, and she's back asleep, I shower and face my wife, only after styling my hair into its usual hairstyle of spikes and a quiff. "Honey?" I call hesitantly. I find her in the kitchen, her hair curly and she's wearing a dress.

"Sit, Mike."

Although I don't like that she reffers to me as a dog, I do sit across from her. I pick at a stain on the wooden table as I wait for her.

"I heard you saying _'Bella, Bella,' _last night. Again." I flinch at the menace in her voice, but she continues.

"It gave me an idea..."

I speak for the first time after a long pause. "What was your idea?"

She frowns at the table, her red-glistening nails tapping against the wood.

"Well, first of all, did you know the Cullens still live here in Forks?"

"Um...No."

"They do. And do you want to know what your..._dream _gave me the idea of?"

"What's that?"

"Well...Do you want to visit them?"

I nearly fall onto the floor. Did she just ask me if I wanted to visit my precious Bella? Hell yeah!

"Sure" I say nonchalatnly, showing I don't care.

"Good. Becuase I already called and we're heading over for dinner later."

I freeze. Oh. My. God. I'm going to see my Bella! And even if she _is _married...And come to think of it, _I'm _married too...SHE WILL BE MINE!

But instead of jumping and screaming like a little girl hopped up on pixie sticks, I shrug and say, "That's cool" because I'm so awesome at Acting, and I leave the table, barely containing myself.

* * *

Bella's POV

This morning Alice called us from her hunting trip, about a vision she just had about Mike and Jessica coming to visit us. I was out hunting too, with Renesmee and Emmet, actually, so I didn't get the memo until I was back at the cottage. Edward was on the couch, the tiny phone on his hand, and his beautiful features were twisted into a grimace.

"What's wrong?" I had asked him, walking to his side and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Ugh. Remember... Mike Newton?"

"Yeah. What happened?"

"Well...Alice called...She had a vision of him..._visiting _with Jessica."

I drop my arms, and my mouth follows. I gape at him. "What! No!"

He looks at me helplessly. "I'm afraid so. Esme just called from the house and said she agreed to them coming over"

"_Them?_"

He nods. "Apperently, Mike and Jessica got married a few years ago...and they had two kids, too."

I shudder at the thought. "So when's the 'happy couple' coming over? Oh, and that reminds me. Jake's coming over later."

He visibly grimaces. "Well that's going to be weird. We're all going over to the main house. Apparently, Mike's dying to see us. Er, you, escpecially."

I gasped, suddenly realizing something. "Wait, what are we going to do with the age thing? What're they going to think when we still look like high schoolers?"

He glances over at me, a half-smile on his face. "Rosalie's got it. Apparently, she knows a great deal on age makeup."

"Oh." I glance over to Renesmee, who is walking to the kitchen, singing. She's now the size of a ten-year old. Her growth had slowed down a lot. Edward caught on to my concerns immedietly. "Er... She's tall for her age?"

I laugh and lean into his side. "You think it's going to work out?" I ask him. He smiles, turning my face upwards to his and pressing a kiss to my lips. "Aren't I always right?"

* * *

That Evening...

Mike's POV

I'm nearly bouncing as I strap the kids into the minivan and listen to Jess rant about manners and whatnot in the front seat while she applies her mascerra. "...And remember to say please and thank you, Mikey. Even if you don't like the food, eat it. These are friends of mommy and daddy, so be good." Mikey nods quickly.

"Jess, it's okay." I assure her as I pull out of the driveway. Esme - Edward's mom, apparently, gave us directions to the Cullen's house, since we haven't been there in years. I wave to my mom as we drive past her house. She's in the kitchen, her arms covered in suds.

We enter the forest, and Mikey's gasps of delight fill the car. Yeesh, Cullen still lives with his parents. Weirdo.

I pull into the meadow that serves as a yard and step out of the car, Jessica following. She keeps scolding Mikey and hushing Guenrethen's babbling as she tries to take the bow out of her light brown hair.

My stomach is churning like butter inside of me as we step up the walk, which is brightly lit with the light coming from inside. I notice a beautiful sound coming from inside, piano music. I don't know the song - I mean, who would listen to _classical?_

But then I freeze right before my hand makes contact with the door. Would if that's Bella playing, and she gets mad at me for not respecting her musical talents?

And as I listen, I know it has to be her. It's such beautiful music, and I eagerly knock on the door, hoping to see her play.

The door opens a second later, and I'm a tiny bit dissapointed that it's Bella, but then I realize - _It's Bella!_

My breath catches in my throat and I wonder how I saw that it was her. She's even more beautiful than I remember - If that's possible. Her long dark hair hangs gracefully over her shoulders, a natrual curl leaving it look sexy. Her cheekbones are high and painted over with blusher, and her honey-gold eyes are framed with thick lashes.

Wait. _Honey-Gold?_

Oh well. She's my Bella even if she decides to wear creepy contacts.

I grin at her. "Bella!"

* * *

Bella's POV

Mike's looking exactly the same, except for the faded lines across his forehead, making me feel so much younger. Apparently, when Rosalie said she was 'good with makeup' she meant that she can give me eyeshadow and stuff to make me appear _more mature._

"Bella!" he says. I smile broadly with fake enthuiasm and spread my arms. "Mike! Jess!" I greet them, and Mike's heart accelerates slighltly when he sees I'm asking for a hug. Both of them wrap their arms around me, then pull away just as quickly from my icy skin.

I frown to myself - I thought that by standing close to the fire all day would have made my skin warmer. Apparently not. I step inside, and they follow. It's then I notice (after closing the door behind them) the two extra heartbeats with them, and I pause to see their children. "Oh, wow. Who's this?" I ask, gesturing to the small boy holding Mike's hand and the baby in Jessica's arms.

"Oh," Mike says, blushing slightly, "This is Mike Jr, and this is Guenrethen" he says, gesturing to the children. Guenrethen? Um,...Okay.

"Mike," Edward greets them, coming over from the piano to stand beside me. "It's so nice to see you all. Oh, Renesmee?" He calls, gesturing to the kitchen.

Renesmee peeks her head out, her copper curls swinging back as she looks over at us, her chocolate brown eyes worried.

* * *

Mike's POV

Oh. My. God. Who the heck is that? Bella calls her Renesmee, and as I get a closer look, I realize how much she looked like...Them. So they had a kid together? Ewwww! That should be me!

"Hello" Jessica says in a suprisingly sweet voice. "Who's this?" She asks them, and I catch just the slightest hint of jealousey in her voice. Edward smiles to himself, as if he's enjoying a private joke.

"This is our daughter, Renesmee. Say hello." he nudges her forward, and she smiles politley. "Hello, I'm Renesmee. Glad to meet you" Wow. This girl's so perfect.

"We're sorry, but the rest of the family's out...On a trip...and it's just going to be the eight of us" he says. Wait. One...Two...Three... Huh. Who's the eighth?

Bella notices my confusion. "Eh...Remember Jacob?" she asks, gesturing to a huge person behind her who I haven't noticed until now. He snaps his head up, waves, and looks back down again.

"Come on, you must be hungry" Edward says, leading us to a fancy dining room. And I mean, _fancy._

And a ton of food is laid out, more like for twelve people rather than eight.

We all sit down, and Mikey leans over from his highchair, next to Guenrethem. "Why awe you so pwetty?" he asks Bella, who suprisingly dosen't blush as she smiles sheepishly. "Um, Thank you" she says. Edward chuckles next to her and kisses her cheek. Ugh. Stupid Cullen.

That Jacob kid immedietly digs in, although he was eating before we got there. Renesmee makes a face before taking small bites. Mikey eats with his fingers, making Jessica scold him every few minutes.

After a few minutes, I notice my Bella and Edward aren't eating. They have food on their plates, but neither one of them tastes any.

Suddenly, Edward takes a spoonful and gracefully shoves it in his mouth, chews and swallows quickly. I shrug and keep eating.

"So," Jessica starts, "Have you lived here all this time?" she asks before taking another bite. I can see - er, taste, why; this stuff is really good.

"Actually, We have a house a few miles away." He explains. Jessica nods, frowning slightly. Edward smiles.

"Bells," Jacob chuckles, "You look like you're gonna run away screaming. Lighten up"

Bella scowls at him, and leans into Edward's side. I sigh. This is going to be a long night.

* * *

Bella's POV

After a few more hours of Jacob's stupid embarrasing stories, Mikey's throwing up, and Mike's googly eyes at me, they all finally went home. Well, except for Jacob, who stayed behind to continue his stories to an already-hysterically giggling Renesmee. I literally had to kick him out to get him to shut up.

* * *

Mike's POV

I was sad to leave, escpecally because of all the adorable stories of Bella that the big Quillete kid had to say. But then again, later when we were driving home, the howls in the distance freaked me out enough to get us home.

* * *

Bella's POV

Edward told me later that Mike was thinking of stalking us (me, really) at this house the next day. I had shuddered and called Jacob who had oh-so-innocently been "guarding" the cottage when we got there. I had discussed my plan with him, and he had agreed eagerly. Edward, being too responsible for his own good, didn't join us and stayed home to take care of Renesmee.

Now, here we are, the next day, hiding in the bush in front of his small house. Apparently, Jessica had kicked him out of bed and he was sleeping on the couch.

I glanced at my watch; 1:11 am. Perfect.

I nodded once to Jacob who took off to the woods behind the house to change. He came back a minute later as a russet wolf, grinning...wolfisly.

"You got the plan?" I ask him. He nods his massive head once.

He trots over to the back of the house where the living room is and he howls just loud enough for Mike to hear.

And he does. He shoots up from his makeshift bed, and just as I predicted, walks over to the window just in time to see the shadow of a wolf retreat into the forest. He gasps and races back to the couch, and I grin; it's my turn. I grab my duffel bag with my costume and the wild turkey I'd hunted earlier inside and run back around the house.

* * *

Mike's POV

After seeing that...Monster outside the window, I raced back to the couch where I hid under my Spiderman blanket. Everyone, including Jessica, thinks that it's Mikey's, but I would never give up my blanky. Not even for my own son.

After that, I fell asleep, but I woke up with a start when I hear weeping. It's not like a baby crying; or even Jessica. I get up from my couch, keeping the blanket around my shoulders as I make my way over to the kitchen. I stop in my tracks. There's a beautiful girl in the middle, wearing a gauzy white dress and her long brown hair hangs loose around her shoulders. Is that...Bella?

"Hello?" I ask the weeping girl.

She stops crying immedietly, and slowly turns around to see me. And I was right! Why in the name of jellybeans was she in my kitchen?

It's then I notice the blood on her mouth and chin. and her eyes. I audibly gasp at the white eyes with no pupils.

Her lips pull back over her pure white teeth that glow in the moonlight. I take a step back, although I feel like I'm frozen in place with terror.

Suddenly, she's gone. All that's left is the cool breeze left behind her. I gasp again when I hear her. "Mike" she whispers from behind me. I spin around, my eyes wide as saucepans.

"Y-yes?" I stutter. Bella looks around, her creepy eyes reflecting the light from the small window above the couch.

"Mike... Why did you leave me?" she asks, confused. I freeze again. Wait, _leave _her?

Her face hardens. "Mike. Why do you love Jessica and not me?" She dissapears again, and reappears in front of my face, her ice-cold hand brushing my cheek before she snarls at me, and her eyes are a bright red now. I scream at her, holding my hands up in defense, but before I know it she's gone again and I hear another howl from the window, and I glance over to see a _GIANT WOLF. _It's teeth are pulled back over its lips and it snarls at me. I scream again, and before I can blink the wolf's gone and I can hear laughter from outside.

"MIKE!" Jessica shouts from the top of the stairs. I groan and slouch back onto the couch. I'm in for it no matter what was outside. I hate my life.

* * *

Bella's POV

Jacob and I race back to the cottage, where I face Edward who stares me down dissaprovingly. I smile sheepishly and glance behind me to see Jacob's tail as he dives back into the forest.

_Stupid, Jerky, selfish werewolf-_

"Bella" Edward says to match his expression. His fingers brush across my chin. "Is that...turkey blood?"

I smile sheepishly again. "Yes?"

"And are you wearing red contacts?"

"Yeah."

He sighs and frowns. "What am I going to do with you?" he sighs.

I smile at him. "This" I reply, reaching on my toes to give him a kiss.

* * *

**Thank you for reading :DDD**

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